![]() He could be very playful, and very loving, and fun, and funny, and, ya know, tell corny dad jokes, and play ball with us out in the backyard like no other dads in the neighborhood did. Our upbringing, as you can imagine, kind of a strict fundamentalist ethos and then a very military energy in the house. Retired from the army and went into the ministry and became a pastor and was in the ministry basically until he retired many, many years later. Ended up going to West Pointe and becoming a career army officer and was in the army for twenty years. He grew up in the rust belt, middle-class family, had worked on farms in the summer. Porter: He was a, ya know, I guess they called him “the greatest generation.” They called themselves that I think. An Everyday Kind of Manįlood: Introduce us to your dad a little bit. I also want to say that I know I will most likely say some things about my father that are not necessarily flattering, but just to emphasize that this is really coming from a place of compassion, not a place of anger, or vengeance, or anything like that. And then there can be that circle that is quite different and you’re inviting people to interact with you in that circle and you’re open to that. Because, even though this is a podcast that has educational value to it, you’re also choosing to be vulnerable on a personal level. I would be more than happy to delve deeper into this with anybody.įlood: Important caveat, too. And, the second thing that I would say is, if you listen to the whole thing and you’re still angry or offended, then please talk to me. Especially people who might be related to my dad. And I think part of the vulnerability I’m feeling is just imagining how my words might be received, especially by people who might’ve known my dad. The first thing I want to say is I’m feeling really raw and vulnerable just to dive into this in a public way. It helped us to have a conversation about it and so we decided to do this podcast to help others understand the importance of healing ourselves so that we don’t pass our pain on to others. ![]() You were anxious about it, but after you delivered it, you got a lot of really good feedback from family members who you thought maybe wouldn’t have responded as they did. ![]() You shared that journey with me and the challenge of doing it honestly, and well, and compassionately. ![]() The Healing Power of Truth and Reconciliationįlood: Ken, your father passed and you were challenged to write a eulogy. Listen to the entire Revealing Men podcast and/or read excerpts of the conversation below (edited for length and clarity). Porter’s life experiences led him to the role he now embraces: that of helping other men work through and heal from the trauma in their lives so as to not pass it on to future generations. Porter shares the complicated relationship he had with his father-a man he both loved and despised-and the sometimes unconventional path he took to free himself and heal from the pain and trauma. Download file | Play in new window | Duration: 42:17 | Recorded on September 1, 2021ĭoes the response to trauma remain contained within the individual? Or do its effects pass down from generation to generation? And, if that’s the case, how can one find healing? This conversation between somatic therapist, Ken Porter and psychotherapist, Randy Flood, Director of the Men’s Resource Center of West Michigan is a highly-personal, in-depth discussion about transgenerational trauma.
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